Arts and Living Editor
As a person who has been in and out of relationships during my three years at Troy University, I would like to start by saying I am not trashing on relationships in college or otherwise.
Young relationships are essential to finding what you want in a life partner, and as an adult, there is no harm in trying to find that person while in college. It can help you and your partner be successful and make your college experience a better one.
However, being single is a viable option and should be respected as such. Being single can allow a lot of self-growth, especially in a time where your world is changing in every way and you’re deciding the path you want to follow.
For me, I got into a relationship almost immediately after arriving at Troy. While it wasn’t the healthiest, when it ended, it left me with a lot to figure out about myself and what I wanted and needed.
I then took a year off romantic relationships of any kind, and there was a lot that I learned.
First and foremost, when you truly take a period of time to find out who you are and what you stand for, you grow in ways you never thought possible.
The decision to come to college means completely uprooting the life you are used to and starting from scratch on your own two feet. In that, I see a lot of opportunity for self-discovery and improvement.
College is a great time to be selfish and really make yourself the center of your focus. Spending time, money and energy on yourself is the most worthy investment you’ll make in your whole life, unless you win the lottery on a three-dollar ticket.
Not only will the focus on yourself help you to allocate time for your studies and your responsibilities, it will also reveal what your expectations are for yourself and others.
Giving yourself time to find what is most important in your life and set those long-term goals for yourself will help you find the right fit of a partner in the future.
Rather than the both of you adapting to what the other person wants, you can find a person who aligns them self with you naturally.
The thing that I find most important is learning to be self-reliant.
Jumping into a relationship for the sake of being in one, or hoping that it will be the thing to help you find your way is a dangerous path. Don’t expect a relationship to fix all your problems or to make you whole.
Take the time to love and complete yourself before bringing in another person and investing fully in them. Putting your everything into another person leaves you running the risk of losing yourself if you don’t have the solid groundwork.
Another thing to be wary of is the fact that many people in college are not in the same place when it comes to relationships.
While you might be prepared to get serious and start looking for a spouse, others may still be testing the waters and finding out what they want.
Investing in relationships is, of course, a vital part of the college experience. Friendships are the most understated, yet important, part of your newfound adulthood.
Friendships are the easiest place to align yourself with people similar to you, whether that be professionally, politically, religiously or otherwise. They can also develop into other relationships.
Some people are extremely lucky and meet their person before college. Some find them while they’re here, and some won’t find them until we leave.
Regardless of when you meet that person and where you are in life, the self-care of the single life is something that everyone should take advantage of during these vital years.
In the words of the great singer Lizzo, “I don’t need anyone to complete me, but I want someone to compliment me.”