Einstein Bros.: the theory of a bagel

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Jane Morrell

Opinion Editor

Whitney Cale

Staff Writer

After hearing the many complaints about the Einstein Bros. café, Jane Morrell, opinion editor, and Whitney Cale, staff writer decided that it earned the next spot for the Tropolitan’s food review column.

With the constant rants of students in the back of their minds, Morrell and Cale approached the line at the café, and tried to clear these thoughts from their heads so as to give this small café in the corner of the Trojan Center a fair shot.

Seeing how Einstein’s has a popular menu and an extraordinary number of food options for students — a sight that many are not used to seeing here in the TC — Cale and Morrell decided that the best way to tackle this review was to split it up over a couple of days.

The things they witnessed were interesting to say the least.

In the morning, about 8:30-9 a.m., when the TC was empty, they saw that Einstein Bros. would be calm and the wait would be only a few minutes.  However, when 10 a.m. hit, it was just complete chaos that seemed to have no end. A line would begin to wind itself through the TC like a snake. Students would form an angry and impatient mob around the pickup area. They were surprised that torches and pitchforks weren’t in the students’ hands. Morrell felt an enormous amount of pity for both the students and the workers.

But they came this far to review the food, and they weren’t giving up.

E = muffins and breakfast bagels squared:

For breakfast, Morrell was craving a muffin, so she tried the cinnamon chip muffin in the display window, paired with a chai tea. She figured that she lucked out for this review when it came to getting something tasty.

Cale bravely took a shot at a bagel with turkey, sausage and cheddar.

The wait was incredibly short, and the customer service was incredible. They were greeted with smiles and politeness.

Cale and Morrell were both impressed with the speed and the service, but on to the food itself, starting with Cale’s bagel.

“It came with a nice, fluffy egg,” she said. “And the cheese is all the way melted. The bagel is well-toasted and fresh.”

If bagels could be in pageants, this one stood a decent chance of becoming the next Miss Troy Bagel.

“I’m not getting too much of the sausage flavor because it is a bit overpowered by the egg,” she said. “But the sausage is not too hard or difficult to eat. It is soft and enjoyable. It has a good flavor; I just wish there was more sausage.”

Morrell’s muffin was toasted to perfection and looked heavenly. It was a lovely brown color and sprinkled with cinnamon. According to Morrell, it can make you hungrier just by looking at it.

“The taste lived up to its potential and could rival anything offered at Starbucks upstairs,” Morrell said.

Keep calm, and eat bagels:

When it comes to keeping calm and eating bagels from Einstein Bros., according to Morrell and Cale, this truly cannot be repeated enough. Morrell swears she’s seen the human soul just sucked out of the students waiting to get their food.

Again, Cale and Morrell came after the lunch crowd and found that the line was not bad, and neither was the wait. However they said it was still odd and a bit frustrating, though. They were told to hold to their tickets, but their number was never called out. They were left thinking, “What was the point?”

Morrell ordered one of the signature items — the bagel with egg whites, asparagus, mushrooms and Swiss cheese — and she paired it with a Vanilla Hazelnut.  Cale ordered the classic ham and Swiss with an asiago bagel and paired it with a Caramel Macchiato.

Cale described her bagel, saying that the cheese was not all the way melted, and that it was cold. However, the bagel bread by itself, she said, looked well-toasted.

Cale said it was a very sad, sad-tasting bagel — and this is supposed to be a classic, people!

“First, they didn’t cut my bagel all the way,” she said. “All I taste is the egg. I can’t even taste the ham. I can taste the Swiss, but it is faint.

“I feel pretty disappointed. I was expecting a ham and Swiss bagel, not an egg bagel.”

Morrell’s bagel was dainty, but incredibly greasy!

“I think this one could’ve rivaled Cale’s breakfast bagel for Miss Troy Bagel,” Morrell said. “As for the taste, the egg was a bit overpowering. As a lover of mushrooms, I found the bagel lacking on the mushrooms. But, considering this is TC food, it was suitable.”

The most beautiful thing we can experience is a good cup of coffee.

“If you’re expecting Troy University to have a café that offers coffee that rivals the quality of that of Starbucks — go home, you’ve lost your mind,” Morrell said. “Einstein Bros. offers cheaper coffee than the Starbucks in the bookstore, but it comes at a price. Sometimes you can get a decent cup of coffee, and at other times it’s great! Then there are dark times where you will get a defective coffee.”

Cale tried the popular Caramel Macchiato and White Chocolate Mocha.

The Caramel Macchiato, Cale said, was “definitely hot and fresh.”

“I think the coffee taste is a little too strong,” she said. “I don’t get a sense of the caramel part of it. That part is not satisfying. It’s not the best, but it’s not the worst.”

Cale said she liked the mocha a lot more than the macchiato.

“It’s not too strong of a coffee taste; it is blended well.”

Morrell’s hot drinks she said were “meh.” “

“The chai tea was really good, but could’ve been spicier,” she said. “I like chai tea to have a kick to it. It tasted like its selling price: cheap.”

As for the Vanilla Hazelnut, Morrell said it was too strong. As far as drinks went, she wasn’t impressed, and the reaction she had for the chai was basically the same for the Vanilla Hazelnut. However, Morrell said would choose the chai over the vanilla any day.

Overall experience:

Two things are infinite: the universe and the wait at Einstein Bros., and both Morrell and Cale are not sure about the universe. The wait can be so bad; it has made several students late to class.

As mentioned before, Cale and Morrell went to eat at times when the TC was not too crowded with students. This, they believe, has helped in giving them a better experience with the café. According to them, the inconsistency in the food and waiting time at Einstein Bros. is mind-boggling and exhausting for both the workers and the students.

Outside of their meals for the review, Morrell said she watched the café and the madness surrounding it, trying to figure out the system of how it works and survives, and she still doesn’t have an answer.

“I want to pull for this café to be successful,” Morrell said. “There are so many nice employees who work there who are forced into such a tiny, pitiful place to work. But the reality is that there are too many problems that need to be fixed.”

Cale and Morrell rate our overall experience at Einstein Bros. a 6.5 out of 10. Keep on trying to get better, Einstein Bros.

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