Most Bizarre New Years Resolutions

By: Jane Morrell

Staff Writer


The year 2012 has ended, and the world is still spinning, so that means we can look forward to the fresh new year 2013!

“I’m really looking forward to another year at Troy. It’s going to be awesome!” said Carol Anne Osborne, a sophomore vocal/choral music education major from Panama City, Fla., when asked about her expectations for 2013

With every New Year comes a blank slate, a sigh of relief that we made it after all, new hopes, new dreams and…New Year’s resolutions!

Ah, New Year resolutions, the goals that we assign to ourselves at the beginning of a new year to change a part of our life style that we don’t like or isn’t healthy.  Goals most people forget in the span of two weeks after Jan. 1.

We have all heard the resolutions about losing weight, stop smoking, drinking, etc. These are normal resolutions.

But who wants to hear about normal? ‘

Yep, these are the really crazy and weird make you scratch your head and say, “What?!” resolutions.

The following are just a few of the bizarre resolutions that are out there.

Be warned, most of these are not advised to be attempted. They are the strangest for a reason. And now we begin the countdown:

Starting with No. 5 of the craziest New Year’s resolutions is “to say yes to every person that asks you out.”

This resolution could be really good for you or it could just go south pretty quick depending on who is asking.

If you are generally condescending and have your standards set astronomically too high, then perhaps getting off your high horse and dating the person who had enough guts to ask you in the first place will surprise you.

But be careful with this one, you could very easily be asked out by creepers and genuinely unsavory characters that, if you keep to this resolution, will make you regret it for sure.

Evade them asking you out by changing the subject, if you don’t want to go out with them, but don’t want to break your new code.

Next up the No. 4 on our countdown is “to try new meats.” Odd, considering most people, if they make a resolution about meat, is to remove it from their diet rather than add more of it.

This isn’t just trying an ole deli meat either. This is eating things you’d typically see someone on the Travel channel chowing down on, such as yak, ostrich, kangaroo, snake, crocodile and even deer penis soup. Yes, you read that correctly.

This resolution is not for the faint of heart or the weak of stomach.

You might find something you like but you might also become best friends with the toilet after the culinary adventure.

Wow those two resolutions were really out there, and we have only just begun!

Coming to No. 3 on our countdown is found on Twitter and is to “make out with more people than I did last year”…Really? That is your New Year’s resolution?

Not lose weight, study more, save the planet from impending doom, but to make out with more people than last year? It’s so boring, plain and unfulfilling that it is insane!

If more than one person has this same goal, then there are some pretty pathetic life forms out there.

Moving on to No.2 on the countdown is “to get back to Nature.” This one seems harmless enough– enjoy nature or what’s left of it.

With people trying to be more eco-friendly, this resolution might not seem off at all but when a gentleman refuses to eat anything that’s grown outside of a 100 mile radius and he lives in New York City…you might be taking it too far.

No.1 and the winner of 2013’s wild New Year’s resolution is “to replace a bad habit with another bad habit.”

This, my friends, cannot be described in any other way than pure idiocy.

You make resolutions to improve yourself, not trade out unfavorable characteristics for a new one.

Switching out smoking for drinking isn’t going to help you one bit and it is more likely you will pick up the extra bad habit rather than quit the first one.

Do not attempt this one, unless you like digging your own grave.

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9 Thoughts to “Most Bizarre New Years Resolutions”

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      We appreciate your vigilance, sometimes the editors don’t catch every mistake. We will do better next time.

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