by Kris Harrell
Get your weekly insight with some nonsense horoscopes!
Aries - Happy birthday, now stop being so hard on yourself.
Taurus - The first TikTok that shows up on your for you page will be how the rest of your semester turns out.
Gemini - Quit re-watching "Bluey" episodes. Start therapy.
Cancer - You are not in your "Reputation Era," you're just setting healthy boundaries. Keep going.
Leo - No, you don't need to order DoorDash for the fifth time this week. Just eat some loose cheese like the rest of us.
Virgo - On behalf of your classmates, please stop tapping your fingers on the desk.
Libra - This is your weekly reminder to be sure to take your medicine.
Scorpio - Ok, please stop eating up all the loose cheese. Save some for the rest of us.
Sagittarius - Your horoscope got lost in translation. If you know Klingon, you're in luck!
Capricorn - Not everything has to be a competition, you don't have to be #1 in relaxing, that's not even possible.
Aquarius - Thankfully, you wont get hit by a car this week... again.
Pisces- If it's the little things that make you happy, get a bunch of little things! No one can be sad holding a 3-inch Squishmellow!
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