Relationship longevity not worth taking abuse

Quinta Goines

Have you ever held onto something so long just because of the time you had invested into it? Have you ever thought a certain person wasn’t good for you, but you just didn’t know how to shake him or her off?
A couple of years ago, I was “in love.” My friends knew it, my family knew it, and everybody else knew it. And then one day, what I thought was “love” turned into me being foolish.
All of a sudden, things started changing; the companionship that I had become accustomed to wasn’t there anymore. We were no longer having those long, drawn out, puppy love conversations, and some days it seemed that I was nonexistent to the person for no apparent reason.
He would constantly be angry at me for petty reasons and sometimes for no reason at all. This constantly had me on edge, and I felt as if I couldn’t do anything right. I put up with mistreatment that I know I did not deserve. My foolishness led me to believe that since we had been together for a year and a half, things would get better, and we were just going through a rough patch.
Then one day I thought to myself, “Quinta, you have to stop being foolish. You know what you deserve, and do not settle for less.”
I have been in relationships with people who I knew weren’t doing me any good, but I held onto them because I had the thought “We’ve been friends since fourth grade, so there is no way we cannot have a lifelong friendship.” For years, thoughts like that trapped my mind every time I would convince myself that a certain friendship or relationship was no longer benefiting me.
In some of those relationships, it seemed like everything would be my fault, that I couldn’t do anything right. At the same time, in the back of my mind, I thought to myself, “Quinta, you are being a better person to them than they are being to you. Quinta, you help them out in any way possible.”
For a moment, I ignored those thoughts and let myself think that everything was actually my fault and that I could not do anything right. Then I had an epiphany; I realized I was trying to hold on to friendships that were meant to last only for a moment and not for a lifetime. The people I encountered were meant only to teach me a life lesson.
I’m not saying that if you and your mate have one disagreement you should break up with them immediately. I’m simply saying to know the line between fighting for your relationship and being foolish for your relationship.
If your significant other is mistreating you, cheating on you, constantly choosing his or her friends over you, or not supporting you in your endeavors, please do not continue to hold down the relationship because the only thing you are getting out of it is the title of fool.
Also, I’m not saying to completely cut off ties with friends. Simply take a step back, analyze your friendships, and then act accordingly if need be. Do not let the fear of not having friends or a mate keep you from realizing your worth. Once you realize your worth and accept it, it won’t matter if you have one friend or 10.
Don’t ever let longevity have you looking foolish, because while you are looking foolish, other good relationships, with both friends and potential significant others, are passing you by.
Quinta Goines is a junior multimedia journalism major from Needham.

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