Editor’s Note: Columns appearing under “Meanwhile, in Sparta…” are works of fiction. Any references to real people, places or events are satirical statements that do not reflect real events.
As Americans lined up outside malls and stores to shop for televisions on Black Friday, there was a huge line outside the Adams Administration Building to purchase classes put on sale by the university.
“With the rising cost of education in the United States, this is the only way to ensure I can afford to pay for school,” said Janey Janet, a sophomore anthropology major from Charleston, South Carolina. Janet enrolled in an anthropology class at 60 percent off the actual cost and is excited to take it next semester.
“I mean, it is an anthropology class, so I knew there would be seats and they would put it on sale,” she said.
Despite the discount, many students chose to attend a party at Fraternity Row instead of taking advantage of the deal.
I didn’t realize that we had to pay for classes; I thought that was something you just go to,” said Max Milford, a sophomore undeclared major from Gadsden.
All classes sold out within the first hour. Unfortunately, none of the online classes were up for sale.