Tag: meanwhile in sparta

We’ve always been West Virginia fans claims freshman while memorizing “Country Roads”

Trojan Living

Editor’s Note: Columns appearing under “Meanwhile, in Sparta…” are works of fiction. Any references to real people, places or events are satirical statements that do not reflect real events. Pradyot Sharma Opinion Editor Wesley Kirchharr Sports Editor “Yeah, I love the Mountain people,” said Troy student Jed Cleetus, a freshman undeclared major from Enterprise as he blasted John Denver music on his speakers.  Cleetus was referring to the West Virginia Mountaineer football program as he was attempting to memorize Denver’s 1971 classic hit, “Take Me Home, Country Roads,” a ballad…

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Troy calls TUPD off trail of hazing investigation to write parking tickets

Trojan Living

Editor’s Note: Columns appearing under “Meanwhile, in Sparta…” are works of fiction. Any references to real people, places or events are satirical statements that do not reflect real events. Zach Henson Editor-in-Chief The Troy University police chief was reportedly called away from handling a situation involving intoxicated minors on Fraternity Row to write a parking ticket near Patterson Hall. According to police reports, a student had parked in a faculty member’s spot, preventing Joe Blow, a professor of history, from making it to class on time. “How on earth can…

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Dining Hall helps students to avoid the freshman 15

Trojan Living

Pradyot Sharma Opinion Editor Taylor Walding Variety Editor The Trojan Dining Hall is helping students avoid the freshman 15 by using innovative weight loss strategies that incorporate hiding cutlery and closing early on weekends. It is not unusual for students to have to walk the entire dining hall three times before they find a fork. “I literally checked every silverware station before eventually asking an employee who told me,” said Nicole Whittaker, a freshman pre-health major from Gulf Shores. “I was redirected and then sent to beg at the dish…

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