Category: Meanwhile in Sparta…

We’ve always been West Virginia fans claims freshman while memorizing “Country Roads”

Trojan Living

Editor’s Note: Columns appearing under “Meanwhile, in Sparta…” are works of fiction. Any references to real people, places or events are satirical statements that do not reflect real events. Pradyot Sharma Opinion Editor Wesley Kirchharr Sports Editor “Yeah, I love the Mountain people,” said Troy student Jed Cleetus, a freshman undeclared major from Enterprise as he blasted John Denver music on his speakers.  Cleetus was referring to the West Virginia Mountaineer football program as he was attempting to memorize Denver’s 1971 classic hit, “Take Me Home, Country Roads,” a ballad…

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University puts classes on sale for Black Friday

Opinion

Editor’s Note: Columns appearing under “Meanwhile, in Sparta…” are works of fiction. Any references to real people, places or events are satirical statements that do not reflect real events. Pradyot Sharma Opinion Editor As Americans lined up outside malls and stores to shop for televisions on Black Friday, there was a huge line outside the Adams Administration Building to purchase classes put on sale by the university.  “With the rising cost of education in the United States, this is the only way to ensure I can afford to pay for…

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Troy calls TUPD off trail of hazing investigation to write parking tickets

Trojan Living

Editor’s Note: Columns appearing under “Meanwhile, in Sparta…” are works of fiction. Any references to real people, places or events are satirical statements that do not reflect real events. Zach Henson Editor-in-Chief The Troy University police chief was reportedly called away from handling a situation involving intoxicated minors on Fraternity Row to write a parking ticket near Patterson Hall. According to police reports, a student had parked in a faculty member’s spot, preventing Joe Blow, a professor of history, from making it to class on time. “How on earth can…

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Pelosi’s old gavel makes a comeback

Opinion

Editor’s Note: Columns appearing under “Meanwhile, in Sparta…” are works of fiction. Any references to real people, places or events are satirical statements that do not reflect real events. Pradyot Sharma Opinion Editor Residents of Pacific Heights in San Francisco filed a noise complaint on Tuesday night, saying they heard what sounded like the constant banging of a gavel coming from House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi’s house.  Pelosi, who was previously speaker of the House of Representatives, is poised to regain the position after a Democratic victory in the elections. …

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Troy police arrest man who has been selling flash drives to students as e-cigarettes

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Editor’s Note: Columns appearing under “Meanwhile, in Sparta…” are works of fiction. Any references to real people, places or events are satirical statements that do not reflect real events. Jack Johnson, 29, was arrested Monday for selling flash drives disguised as JUUL e-cigarettes to Troy students. The JUUL vape systems became available in 2017 and have since become very popular among college students because of their discrete size and vapor output. “I got the idea when I saw a drunk frat dude trying to take drags from a flash drive…

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